The Dos And Don’ts Of Having A Relationship In Your 20s
Congratulations! You have successfully navigated through the treacherous waters of dating and are now in a full-fledged relationship. You have accomplished something so few were able to before you. Now that you have managed to get yourself into a relationship, you can’t help but think: Now what?
Are things going to change now that you are officially dating? Should they change? Or should you keep acting the same way you have been? The biggest mistake people make when entering into new relationships is letting the pressure of a new title get to their heads. Think about it. Literally nothing has changed except you now refer to each other as girlfriend or boyfriend.
Chances are before you decided to make it official, people around you figured you were dating anyway. Don’t fall into this trap and self-sabotage your own relationship.
How do you know what you should and should not be doing? Take a look below.
Do: Have Date Night
It’s easy to get caught up with your social scene, but you need to remember you are also in a relationship. You don’t need to be going out every single night and blacking out if you have a boy/girlfriend.
This is just another benefit of being in a relationship — you always have someone else to do something else with. You are going to be able to spend a lot more quality time when the setting is just the two of you as opposed to a huge group at a bar.
Don’t: Bombard Social Media With Your Photos
Gag me. Usually it is the girl’s fault in this situation, as for some indecipherable reason she feels the need to upload pictures of her and her boyfriend only. If you were so secure in your relationship, why do you need to flaunt it on every social media platform?
The truth is that no one cares about your romantic getaway or the kissy faces you two are making at each other. Do everyone a favor and just keep those pictures on your nightstand.
Do: Split The Check
If you are in a full-fledged relationship, the obligation of the guy paying for every meal can go right out the window. You are in an equal partnership, so it’s okay to split the check or take turns alternating who is going to pay the bill.
It’s nice to switch it up and it more than alleviates some of the guy’s responsibility. Remember you’re both young and you’ve both got bills to pay! If your man is taking you out all the time, remember to thank him — you don’t want him to think that you just expect things and don’t appreciate them.
Don’t: Text Their Friends
This is just creepy and weird and may even be considered crossing the line. This just looks sketchy on your part. The only time this is even acceptable is if it’s about buying your significant other a gift or planning a special date. There’s no reason to engage in petty banter — remember these are their friends, not yours.
Do: Be Honest About Your Intentions
If you don’t see a future with this person, you need to be upfront and honest about it. The worst thing you can do is get into a relationship with someone you have no intentions of taking seriously.
Don’t just get into a partnership for the sake of it and honestly if that is what you’re doing, fine, but you need to tell the other person.
Don’t: Reveal Your Past Voluntarily
All people have some things in their past they aren’t proud of and that’s exactly where it should be left. If this person wasn’t around when you were engaging in those not-so-proud behaviors, there is virtually no reason to fill them in on this.
You are not the same person you used to be, you are the person they are with now. If, for some reason, the past comes back to haunt you, let that be the only time you discuss it.
Do: Give Them Space
DO NOT SUFFOCATE YOUR PARTNER because you will get pregnant and die — JK, but seriously. You both have your own groups of friends and you need to maintain those groups in order to keep your sanity in tact.
You need a balance in your life — your friends and your relationship. Instead of bitching at them for spending times with others, embrace it and use that time to hang out with your own friends.
This is just a mood killer — having a significant other does not give you an excuse to bitch and moan about every bad thing going on in your life (that’s what your girl friends are for).
All this will do is cause the other person to become increasingly annoyed with you and question their decision to date you in the first place. No one wants to be tied down to a Debbie downer.
Don’t: Try And Change Them
You can’t change anyone without his or her permission and it’s rude to try. You either accept people for who they are or do not associate with them. When you truly know and love somebody, it can be frustrating watching them throw away all their potential, but this is NOT your problem, it is theirs.
You can only express your opinion on the situation; you cannot force it down their throats. This is something they must personally accept and consciously work towards. You forcing your beliefs down their throats is only going to cause resentment and manifest an opposite effect.
Do: Have Fun
Life is too short to waste your time arguing and bickering. Enjoy the time you have together and make the most of it. You are lucky enough to have found a great counterpart that you want to share a relationship with. Don’t let the bullsh*t bring you down. Keep others’ opinions out of your minds and just do things that make you both happy.
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