If you think they’re cheating. But how can you know for sure?
How do you know if your partner is cheating? Usually, if you’re asking this question, you already suspect that you’re the victim of infidelity, or at the very least that something is amiss in your relationship. The signs of cheating look different in every relationship, of course, but there are some common threads that you can look for. First and foremost, I will tell you this: If your gut tells you that your partner is cheating, it may be right. That said, you may want to gather other evidence before you confront your significant other about their behavior. Common signs of infidelity that you might want to look for include:
They suddenly pay more attention to their looks.
“Couples tend to care less about their looks once they feel secure in their relationship, so if your S.O. is suddenly buying new clothes to dress up or taking extra long to get ready in the mornings, they may be up to something,” says Chris Pleines, dating expert at Datingscout.com.
Periods where your significant other is unreachable.
If your partner is cheating on you, they are less likely to answer your calls and respond to your texts. You may hear legitimate-sounding excuses like they were in a meeting, they were driving, they were in a “dead zone” and didn’t know you were trying to get in touch. If your partner is unreachable while working late or on a business trip, that’s a bad sign.
Zero eye contact.
“If someone can’t hold eye contact with you, it’s probably out of guilt,” says Fisher.
They’re irritable AF.
If they’re suddenly getting crazy mad at you for little things, like leaving a dish on the counter or toilet paper on the ground, it could be a sign.
Secretive phone or computer use.
Cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before, and now they do, that’s not a good sign. If your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign. If your partner never relinquishes possession of their phone, even taking it into the bathroom when they shower, that’s not a good sign.
An altered schedule.
When your significant other — who never once worked late — suddenly needs to work late, and that starts to happen more and more frequently, they may be lying. If your spouse has never been away on a business trip and suddenly finds a need to travel for work, that could be a sign that they are having weekend getaways with an affair partner. Flat tires, dead batteries, traffic jams, spending extra time at the gym, and similar excuses for being late or absent altogether might also signal infidelity. A cheating partner might also suddenly be forgetful about picking up the kids, birthdays and other important events, etc.
You don’t know their best friend’s name and they haven’t considered introducing you to their friends.
“If someone is serious about you, they are likely to introduce you to people they value,” says Darné. “If someone is keeping you at bay, it’s because they don’t want to explain to their inner circle that they’re dating multiple people.”
Please note: Your significant other could display all 10 of these signs and still not be cheating. But these remain indications that something is wrong in their life and/or your relationship. It might not be cheating, but there is almost certainly something that you and your significant other to talk about. It simply means your partner has a lot of work to do if they want to restore relationship trust, make things right, and re-establish emotional and intimacy.
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